Every Day When I’m Walking Down the Street: A Misanthrope’s Motto

I have a lot of buzzwords. I’m basically a ridiculous sitcom character, churning out catchphrases at every turn. Some of them, like “I’m a champion,” “What’s up cool kids?” and “You can’t say ‘moon’ with fewer than seven o’s,” are fairly innocuous and reflect my goofy self-confidence. Others have more to do with how I perceive myself and structure my life, most frequent habit of extolling the twin virtues of order and efficiency.

Efficiency drives a lot of what I do. Most people see it as a way to get things done, but I often structure the way I do things with efficiency as an end in itself. Not all time-wasting bothers me; I sit around watching Netflix, reading comic books, and singing musical theatre when I’m supposed to be working, and I think nothing of it. That’s because time-wasting doesn’t bother me until I get the feeling that it’s happening because something is being done inefficiently. I like things to be done in a direct, logical manner, without a lot of unnecessary repetition or pointless deviations. That might make me impatient, or even curt, but it also means my time isn’t wasted, and neither is anyone else’s.