Snapshots from the Commute, Part I

This is the first post of Allie’s multi-part Snapshots from the Commute series, where she takes advantage of the fact that she is the only writer for this blog with a full-time job, and brings you funny experiences and observations from her journey to and from work.

Some nights I have class after work.  It’s an easy enough walk uphill from Farragut North to about six minutes north of Dupont, so I do it frequently–rockin’ my “wannabe Kate Spade model” vibe with my pink topcoat (approachable!) and gold snake brooch (not so approachable!)

I was already steamed as I walked across Dupont Circle, angry that I had forgone a Shack Burger (hold the lettuce) for dinner in an attempt to be healthy, choosing instead a homemade peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Little did I know that the PB&J was within a hundred calories of the burger, and not nearly as enjoyable to eat.  I felt cheated.  Lied to.

Democratic Fundraising in 2014: Performance Art?

Anyone who has ever donated even a little bit to a Democratic candidate for office or a Democratic-leaning interest group has had their inboxes BOMBARDED in the past couple of months with some incredibly ridiculous emails.  Because everyone knows that it’s YOUR withholding of $5, and not the inability to put out a strong message/cyclical midterm backlash against the President’s party/fight to turn very red states blue that is making this election so damn tough for Democrats. [As you see in the About Us, we are Democrats through and through.  But who doesn’t like a good self-deprecating laugh every so often?]

I took it upon myself to sort through this library of harassment and desperation, and my analysis has revealed 11 new tactics the Democrats employed to raise money in 2014.  The primary sources don’t lie*.

*These are all 100% real emails Will and I received from various Democratic candidates and groups.  If you want a copy of one or several to check our research, please just comment here and we’ll get it to you.

Every Day When I’m Walking Down the Street: A Misanthrope’s Motto

I have a lot of buzzwords. I’m basically a ridiculous sitcom character, churning out catchphrases at every turn. Some of them, like “I’m a champion,” “What’s up cool kids?” and “You can’t say ‘moon’ with fewer than seven o’s,” are fairly innocuous and reflect my goofy self-confidence. Others have more to do with how I perceive myself and structure my life, most frequent habit of extolling the twin virtues of order and efficiency.

Efficiency drives a lot of what I do. Most people see it as a way to get things done, but I often structure the way I do things with efficiency as an end in itself. Not all time-wasting bothers me; I sit around watching Netflix, reading comic books, and singing musical theatre when I’m supposed to be working, and I think nothing of it. That’s because time-wasting doesn’t bother me until I get the feeling that it’s happening because something is being done inefficiently. I like things to be done in a direct, logical manner, without a lot of unnecessary repetition or pointless deviations. That might make me impatient, or even curt, but it also means my time isn’t wasted, and neither is anyone else’s.

Welcome to Your Unpaid Internship

Dave Torkington is a totally real intern coordinator at the not-made-up Center for a Holistic Institute of Policy Synergy (CHIPS). He has agreed to become a recurring contributor to I Bought My Adulthood in the hopes of teaching young people about DC and maybe gaining some new opportunities.

Hi there! You must be Brett. I’m Dave, the intern coordinator. Welcome to the Center for a Holistic Institute of Policy Dynamism. It’s so exciting to get to meet you in person. How was your trip in? You didn’t take the Blue Line, did you? That single-tracking was nuts.

Anyway, congratulations! You’re the first one of our interns to start. I guess everyone else went on vacation without you, am I right? So why don’t you put your stuff down right here and I’ll give you the tour.

Leslie vs. Liz: An Eternal Struggle

One twenty-two year old taking on the Big City, two female role models provided by SNL alumni on NBC.

The first, the unstoppable Leslie Knope–five feet, two inches of unflappable belief in the power of a town hall meeting, who has more great ideas before breakfast than most of us have in a year, and who can always broker some sort of solution.  Every.  Time.

The second, the, as Netflix describes her, “unlucky-in-love New Yorker” Liz Lemon, who unabashedly consumes off-brand Sabor de Soledad cheese puffs at work, wears exclusively close-toed shoes, and lies awake at night “wondering what fresh hell tomorrow will bring” her.

Anatomy of a Think Tank Talk

SETTING:  A brightly-lit room on the tenth floor of a tall, shiny building in downtown DC.  Walking from the metro to the marble lobby, one would pass perhaps two Au Bon Pains and twice as many Starbucks.  In the hallway outside the room, coffee, tea, and bottled water are offered alongside boxes of lukewarm wrap sandwiches dripping mayonnaise and platters of cookies, 90% of which are oatmeal raisin.  Someone was hoping no one would notice.

Inside the room, three video cameras are set up.  One films a livestream watched by approximately three people, all of whom are interns that are actually on Facebook chat or Tinder at their desks.  The second broadcasts to CSPAN (does anyone watch that?).  The third is operated by an undergraduate research assistant to the PhD moderating the panel so that it can be added to the “Media” section of his boss’s website.   It is here we meet our cast of characters: